Throw the walls down
Punch, stamp, tear at them
Open the space up wide
Wide, wide as the
Moonlit sky above.Lose yourself in the space
In your head, your heart
Your home, your world.
Like in a film, let the camera
Pan upwards and out,
Leaving you, a speck of flesh
Alone in the dust.But free.
Brush up your windswept look
No need to hide those tear-prone eyes,
Darkness will descend over the lake
And its wave-ridden waters
Before you know it.
Only the haunting howling
Will be left.It’s make or break time,
Maybe you’ve built something strong –
But even then, you never know
Where the next gust’ll come from.
You leave me with bite marks,
Fantasy plans of tying me up tight.
But when it comes to real tears
Or hearing my calls as I drown,
You turn your music louder
Cover my voice with drunk stutters.
Now, just the other day:
“Give it all up” you say, “come, let me show you the way”
Promised me an ear, “Come on, give up on the pain”
If I’d just let go of the meds, stop reaching out for professional help…
But now, where are you now, dicky dick dick
Enjoying my tears from afar, finding joy in my fear ?
Stroking your c*ck at the thought of me lost?
I promised I’d crown you and you laughed – not your play
Maybe the wisdom of your years (that you do have!)
Tells you you’re right, you’re too old to care,
And this girl? She’s too young to know.
Trouble, trouble. Just raw, needy trouble.
But what happened to love, to trusting, believing?
When did you become too lazy to care
And I, your light, become a burden,
A truth, too heavy to bear?
Yes, my pride’s hurt, and yes I’m messed up
No, I don’t hide it, fuck no, I don’t blame you.
Yes, I get scared and hey, yes, I’m scary
I scare you, I know, but aren’t you scared too?
YET behind these addictions, I know you hear it boo
The same fear rips through you, I’m sorry to say.
Shake your head all you like, give up on the world
Out-talk it, you’ll try: “No Silence, not you!
No! Peace, not your touch
Stop the voices, shut up, leave me be, stay away!”
—-
Whisperings, baby, turn your ear, just listen.
In truth, they say “Honey, don’t let go
I know you’re scared we’re leaving but –
No, angel, no,
We want to stay.
This burden you bear, shift it over here.”
Your addictions and mine, just chemical aids.
What if if we both found a wide open space,
Thick forest of fears, the depths of depression,
A sheer, blinding darkness…
And sat there a while.
The different parts of me, collection of us,
(Most of our friends are here too, if you let yourself see.)
All of us, messed up, pissed off, in pain, too proud,
Hiding and hidden. What for?
Open up, damn it. Don’t be ashamed,
I’m not – will not, accept to be told.
But I will hold your hand,
Yes, and sob in my sleep
Now here’s the cliché: I want to believe
Luxury and adventure await, if only we trust.
A shower in Venice
Wash away years of dust,
Gallons of Seawater
Plastered to your skin:
Only the dark grime
Under your nails is proof
It’s there.
The water runs, and with it
Memories of the day
The gentle lull of the boat
Fingers outstretched
Bridging the gaps in generations
Languages mixed to match.
In remembrance
I close my eyes
Against the sun,
The sting of the soap.
Slowly the waves of water
Win over the other waves
The waves of heat
Breaking against
The shiny sides of a
“Bateau de Plaisance”
Like a shirt of freshest silk
I don the silvery flush of water
Washing away
Thousands of years of crumbling dust
And gallons of seawater
That we try do drown
With a light mist of
Water from home.
I’m dreading the day I’ll let you in
When everything you’ll touch will turn to gold
Only to let the dust settle later
Before crumbling – into ashes to the floor
The treasures I keep –
Trophies from these stolen nights,
Are the songs that you play
As we rise from slumbers deep.
Calls from the living,
Summons to the day –
Simone, Cohen, Sinatra and Gaye.
Like burning Charcoal
Being drowned to black again
Like seeing darkness
Swallow all life around
It’s like being awake
When sleep takes over
But most of all (and over all)
It’s like the music playing
Over mourning heads further down the road
It’s about playing football in the sand
And sitting squashed in bumper cars
Or just about playing a thousand new roles
In a plastic-strewn landscape.
It’s mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters
And having children on our knees.
Everything is chaos.
Battering winds, flying debris,
Blood, bruises, lightning
Deafening crashes – …….
Respite. A few seconds
In the eye of the storm, I stand
And brace my soul for the next
Wave – immerged, submerged, drowning.
And so the cycles waltz along
As I stagger looking for shelter
In any shape or form,
Pure, distilled, strange or familiar (mixted or dry).
Until I’m caught – softly softly
Brought to see the calm & charm
Of these here shores, our own.
There’s a half-moon stain
Deep dry red on the table.
In another room a glass
And the unmade bed staring, empty.
Echos. All that’s left
Of wine, and chills, and new ways
To fix my wavering will,
Gather the screaming winds
And be still.
Wield Words - Build Worlds 